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So, Ron DeSantis announced his candidacy, which means it's time for:
"Ron DeSantis right on cue."
Don't applaud. That was terrible. I said to Gene, "Make it bad." Mission accomplished. So it happened during an audio stream with Elon Musk on Twitter. But there were technical glitches that prevented the Florida governor from speaking for about 25 minutes, which prompted Biden's press team to ask, "Any way you can hook us up with those glitches?" Meanwhile, Musk already dealt with those responsible…
But the conversation eventually got going and lasted about an hour. We pause now to listen to all of it.
RON DESANTIS: Well, I am running for president of the United States.
TWITTER SPACES CRASHES REPEATEDLY DURING DESANTIS 2024 ANNOUNCEMENT
Alright, that's enough. That's not the first time I promised an hour and finished in seconds. I don't know what that means. Later, Ron stopped by to chat with our pal Trey Gowdy shortly afterwards, despite their differences on what constitutes a good haircut. You know, I'm beginning to think Trey doesn't go to a barber, he just sticks his head into the world's largest pencil sharpener. But I wonder, Ron, do we know if the country's on the wrong track?
RON DESANTIS, MAY 24: We know the country's on the wrong track. We see it with our eyes. We feel it in our bones. We see the border being overrun. We see crime infesting the cities. We see the federal government making it more difficult for families to make end's meet and we have a president who is a listless vessel.
Gov. Ron DeSantis, R-Fla., blasted the Florida NAACP chapter for issuing a travel advisory against travel to the state over its conservative policies. (Screenshot/Twitter)
Hmm, "listless?" That is so untrue. Biden's got a lot of lists. Look at this one. I'll read it: Put on shoes after socks. Don't put on socks after shoes. Only shake hands with real people. The person named Jill is your wife. But DeSantis makes it clear our country's off-track — something Biden and friends will never admit, even when trains literally go off the tracks. Joe treats derailments the way he treats unplanned grandchildren: like they never happened.
But Ron better be ready to rumble because the media and the Dems see him not just as a huge threat, but also evil. And their mouths are foaming like Kevin Spacey watching a Little League game. I don't get it. Vanity Fair came up with this headline, "Ron DeSantis Will Formally Announce His 2024 Bid With Elon Musk, Because Apparently David Duke Wasn't Available."
So really, a David Duke reference, he's almost as irrelevant as Vanity Fair. But that shows you how all of those White supremacists are the fabric of imaginations when the only ones the media can actually reference is a loser from decades ago.
And failed presidential candidates are chiming in, too. This old clam tweeted, "Ron DeSantis's ultra-MAGA Florida isn't safe for people of color, LGBTQ+ people, or even multi-billion dollar corporations." Is it safe? I bet it's probably safer than being a former friend of Hillary, allegedly.
So it's more of the same lie going back to Florida's so-called "Don't Say Gay" bill. Remember that, that DeSantis signed? Do you remember the "Don't Say Gay" bill, but hold:
ACTOR 1: Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay.
ACTOR 2: Don't say gay, Bill.
ACTOR 1: Oh.
Actually, that never happened. The bill could have said, "Florida residents get free rainbow penis-pouch bikinis and a case of Bud Light," and the media would still say it's anti-gay because their strategy, as always, is to demonize. See, even if you think Ron is Trump without the drama, it's not going to matter. With the help of the media, they create the drama and then it blames you. It's like they set their own hair on fire, then call you the arsonist.
DESANTIS ARGUES ATTACKS BY TRUMP SHOW ‘HE UNDERSTANDS I’M THE CANDIDATE WHO CAN BEAT HIM'
So it's stupid to think things will be less contentious with a non-Trump candidate. They'll be called evil from the start, which allows then for them to commit all crimes. Hell, they'll even fix an election if they're fighting Hitler.
File photos of former President Donald Trump (left) and Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (Fox News )
Here's the CNN headline from today, "Why DeSantis is just as dangerous as Trump — or more." You see that? And here we were told that Trump was an existential threat. So is DeSantis an extra existential threat? How is that possible? He's not just evil, he's double-secret, super-MAGA evil. Poor CNN, just like Jeffrey Toobin, they screwed themselves. If you don't say DeSantis is as bad as Trump, that's an endorsement for DeSantis. And if you say he's worse than Trump, then you expose your previous hysteria for what it was, ********. So expect more of this.
THE BREAKFAST CLUB: It's obvious that Ron DeSantis is a White supremacist, right?
WHOOPI GOLDBERG: I don't want to dislike you. I can't help it... Why do you dislike people of color? What's wrong with American history? What's wrong with gay folks?
JOY REID: This is not a freedom agenda. This is a do what Ron DeSantis tells you to do, the state owns you agenda.
As you can see, the demonization is up and sprinting like a trans girl at a high school track meet. And you don't have to be Trump or even White. Look at new candidate Tim Scott.
JOY BEHAR: He's one of these guys who, you know, he's like Clarence Thomas, Black Republican, who believes in pulling yourself by your bootstraps rather than, to me, understanding the systemic racism that African-Americans face in this country and other minorities. He doesn't get it. Neither does Clarence, and that's why they're Republicans.
Well, thank you for explaining to us what it's like to be Black in America, you 80-year-old White hag who once wore blackface. Oh, yeah, she's fugly no matter what the color. But you got to have some real balls to be a White woman lecturing Black men on being Black. Maybe she does.
Bottom line, if the GOP has any plans to win, they got to come out swinging like Larry Kudlow at nude volleyball. What an image, huh?
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But don't pretend that if Trump's out of the picture, those Never-Trumpers are just going to return to the fold, no. They still hate you for liking Trump.
So if you're hoping for a calmer election, don't kid yourself. They want to destroy you as much as they want to destroy the candidates. Perhaps they want you dead because then they could count on you to vote Democrat.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of Gutfeld! (weeknights, 11PM-12AM/ET) and co-host of cable news’ highest-rated program The Five (weekdays, 5-6PM/ET).